It’s coming

In less than 2 weeks will be 1 year since my father passed away. I am unsure how I am going to feel, whether maybe some of my anger will subside, I know I can’t go through life with the anger that I still harbor towards him. I am lucky that on that day, it will be a Saturday and I have a t-ball game so that will help keep my mind from other things… My kids will never know how much they are helping me that day thats for sure… It seems like just yesterday that I got the call from my Mom that he was gone, doesn’t seem like a year. My son still cries for him, does it make me bad that I don’t? I cried and dwelled a lot the first few months, but since Christmas I have been more pent up with anger…

I am kinda speechless right now, I have been texting my Mom and she has shared video’s of my son and my little boy, it makes me sad and angry at the same time. If alcohol hadn’t consumed him he would be here to enjoy his grandson. His grandson has a huge heart, he loves dogs and basically all animals, he will make your day brighten so easy with a “Daddy…. I Love You”. With him getting older I will miss those little things, so my wife and I get as many hugs as we can get now, he sits with us in the evenings, and he just likes to be close to us. Was I like this as a child? How did my father react?

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