Most people enjoy summer and I don’t dislike it, but it isn’t my favorite. I enjoy the time outside, the yardwork is ok sometimes it’s good exercise, but feels like this is the time I fall the most into my anxiety funk. Maybe it’s because work is always busy, I usually don’t take much time […]

Fog and Paranoia

I have been pretty quiet lately, between allergies and my constant racing mind I have kinda went into seclusion. While talking to my wife about a friend yesterday I have discovered, which I already kinda knew that I live in a constant state of paranoia. I lay in bed at night with my mind racing, […]

I’m much different

Seems in the last year I have become a much different person, I am much more cynical, sarcastic and basically bullshit intolerant. I have trouble keeping contact with my family that constantly wants sympathy. We all have problems, there is no need to dwell on them, make the best of what you have. Which is […]

The Day After…

May 6th has come and gone, I expected a wide range of emotions, I wore my cross that was my grandpa’s and my father’s. Thank goodness that the rain held off here and I was able to coach my kids for tball, their innocence always helps me. I even took a nap to get some […]

being a son

Being a son, being an only child you naturally think there is nothing like your parent’s. Even growing up I always realized how smart my father was, he was extremely intelligent, very good at his job, great with his employee’s. My mother and I always joked that we wished he treated us as good as […]


I have always had an awkwardness when it comes to personal relationships. Even down to giving my Mother a hug feels awkward, like i don’t know how to properly be affectionate. There are only 2 people that it feels natural with and that is my wife and my son. It is hard for me to […]


With the exception of my wife and my son I feel very alone. Sometimes I feel completely alone. The relationship with my mother has dwindled, my family on my dad’s side has basically forgotten about me, with the exception of a few that think I might give them some money. I am OK with dealing […]